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I find myself refusing any advances of romance or love. Despising them, even. I have noticed myself becoming hateful and bitter. I hate that I was not...good enough to deserve his love and have found myself sitting and wondering what was wrong with me. He has turned me into a person that I am not and I can slowly feel more and more of myself slipping away. Still, I pathetically dream of him and the life I so desperately wish to live with him and only him. I think of a life full of unconditional. "Can you believe how I'm talking? That I'm looking forward to taking another lover when I just ran away from seven perfectly wonderful women last night? Except, I don't consider her a new lover. Aside from putting my penis in her vagina, we've been lovers for nearly a year. I made love to her a week ago. I put so much emphasis on that act of penetration that I make myself sick. Like, I would never consider Cassie as anything but my lover, even though I haven't penetrated her with my penis. And,. The meal was one of Mom's lesser efforts, but the food was still good, so I had no clue about the problem.As we were finishing desert, Dad said to me, "Son, your mother and I need to have a serious private talk with you right after supper. Jenny can watch TV in the family room, and we can meet in our bedroom."Uh-oh, I knew that I was in serious trouble up to my eyeballs, but I still had no idea what could be the problem. My occupation never occurred to me. This sort of situation had never come. I see her get up and off that guy. Going to the ladies room I assumed. But she walked right up to me, she bent down to put her mouth on my ear, and then she whispered this to me:"Take me home and fuck me."I turned to her and smiled. "Really? You're not playing some kind of joke on me, are you?" Her answer was the one I wanted to hear. "Yes. Really. You're the cutest guy in this bar. And I want us to go to your place right now so you can fuck me. Unless you're gay, you're not gay are you?".
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