Not great, just good. It's not that I don't enjoy it, it's just... something else. Lately I've been noticing other guys. Not in a big way, just when I...m down at the gym, or swimming. I just brushed it off, as a phase, but it's sticking. Now, I'm not homophobic or anything but I didn't want to be homosexual. I wanted to have a wife, a family, so this was all rather worrying. I put the bad thoughts out of my mind – if it feels good, why not?So, it's a typical thursday afternoon. My dad's working. She already had a son. I was a 'miraculous' birth - couldn't wait to get out. Rushing to embrace the world. Then finding that the world wasn't quite so crazy about meeting me. When I told her I am gay she said, 'you were always different from the moment you were born'. I was a sissy from the beginning. I wanted dolls. Tiny china tea services. As I grew older, I played only with girls, loved only girly games, spent all my time with girls. The bullying started when I was about eight. The name. If she saw me peeking out at her she would worry about me being alone. So I sat there at the kitchen table waiting until my mind was about to explode.I deposited my dishes in the sink and slowly started down the hall. My cock hurt so bad I stopped in my room and took off all my clothes. My little erection (the book called it that, guys at school called it a boner or hard on) seemed to move with each beat of my heart. I put my hand around the tip but that didn’t seem to make the throbbing stop.I. I wandered around the city for hours with no idea where I was going. Eventually I found myself in what I was later to learn was a ghetto. Being from a small town I knew next to nothing about the world. I went into a store and bought a couple of fuck magazines. Everyone I saw around me was black or latino – which was strange to me because, other than Butch, there were no black people in the town I had spent my life in. After leaving the store I walked a couple of blocks. I spotted a decrepit.
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