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And most of the time, I didn't particularly care one way or another. That's part of the problem right there. I didn't care.Shit. Jenny must be right. ... am a closed book. So if that's the problem, the obvious solution is let myself open up. To get beyond the simple expedient of being 'the boyfriend' and allowing them to see the real me, which is terrifying to contemplate.Why was that such a scary thought? Fear of rejection? Well, I should be used to that by now. Except, I always took comfort in. "The Major laughed and responded, "Well, I might just have to stay and help her take a shower. You never know how dirty she might be under her uniform."All three men laughed, which made me more angry than sick.When I came back from washing my face, Major Mitchell said, "Come on, I'll take you home now. Do you want to have some fun with me at your apartment?" I don't know, sir." You do want to have fun with me."Yes, sir."As Major Mitchell walked me out to the room, the video ended. The ordeal. "I looked at my husband with a somewhat suspicious look and Jim said, "Look, hon, the truth is, I had enjoyed several other women before I met you. I know you have just the experience of me alone so, I've ordered you a sensual massage. There'll be no sex, just a massage all over for you to enjoy."All over? Sensual massage? On the bed? These were just a few of the thoughts going through my mind a mile a minute. At least Jim was here. He would be here the whole time.I slowly walked over to the. He would meet with me then to inspect me and decide if i was to be able to keep my job.The next day i arrived at work wearing a very low cut, tight pink sweater, a white mini skirt and a pair of 5" heels. Underneath was a push up bra and pink thong. It wasn't until the afternoon that he called me into his office. First he made me turn around several times and walk up and down for him. Next he dropped a pencil and told me to pick it up. First i squatted to get it but he said that wasn't right. i.
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