The combat knife slipped out of my hand and cut my arm. It was painful, but it with the pain came a clarity that I never had since the day the Marine�...�s came to the door telling my mother that my father was dead. I cleaned up the mess and bandaged my arm. I took the two knives with me and put the Swiss Army knife back and made it look like I had never been in the room. I wore long sleeve shirts for the next two weeks to cover up the bandages. No one ever knew, but I did. I didn’t cut myself on. I thought I play a little devilish trick on my wife one night to give her a hint of what I wanted.I went to bed naked hoping Allison would get the hint I was looking for a little action when she came home from work. I lay on my side so my back was toward the door. I left the covers off just to ensure Allison would see my bare body.I lay very quietly pretending to be asleep. Allison came home at the usual time and did her usual routine of coming to the bedroom. She entered the room without. “And you know what? I love being a girl now. And I think you would too.”“No way,” I said. “I’m not gay.”“So what? Face the facts. You got neutered, same as me. So you’re not a man any more. You’ve got two choices. You can take testosterone shots for the rest of your life and try to get it up, if your head lets you. Or you can go the other way.”“I don’t want to be a woman.”“Look at yourself. Just like me, you’re pretty, thin and short for a guy. I would never have suggested this if you didn’t. One of the young staff was a Filipino he was very feminine we will call him Jay he used to mince around the restraint. On my last morning I went down for breakfast the restraint was busy I found a table close to the tea and coffee station were the staff was based he brought me my Pot of tea with a big smile and a Good Morning Sir I asked him how he was he said ok and went back to the station I watched him walk back wiggling his arse as he walked behind the counter he looked at me with a big.
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