."I thought his first blast was going to blow me right to Mars. Thesubsequent six were just as intense. My torrid, stream-of-consciousnessmonolog had ...lready brought me close to losing my mind. The reallywicked thing was, envisioning Danny as a T-girl, doing the things I hadsaid he was doing, really had turned me on! His eruption was all it tookto push me over the edge ? and it was a long, long fall...It began in the pit of my stomach, spreading outward with the force andspeed of a tsunami. All. It felt like lead restraints on my arms and legs. "Look," said one goon as they faced me towards my club.Busted. Cops everywhere. Paddy wagons hauling off people I knew. Don. Connie. Rachel. Hazel. Others. I couldn't move. I didn't know if I wanted to. The goons held me down anyway, one holding my legs, the other keeping my arms behind my back.A half hour later a large black limousine I recognized pulled up to the curb near me. Rising from the back seat was the old rat face man. The automatic. He walked in a smooth steady gait, relaxed by the sea and soothed by the breeze. He passed the villas in West Village and the condominiums farther back but they were too far from the beach to break the silence of the night or otherwise distract him from the light. He walked on in silence – a silence not broken even by his own thoughts. He had no conscious awareness of anything but the light and the growing emptiness in the pit of his stomach. In some vague and gauzy reality his mind had. I have to thank you for being honest about it.”“Well if it’s a fix, nobody has clued me or Dave in on it. Like you said, we always played it straight with each other, no need to change that.”With that we sat for about an hour talking boxing in general. When he got up to leave he thanked me again. I thanked him also; it had been an opportunity to say out loud the things that had been running through my mind from the beginning.The problem was his question, “There was nothing you could to stop.
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