"Can I call you John? Please call me Julia," she smiles. "The reason I called you over is that we are absolutely thrilled to have such an experienced ...nd competent personal assistant among our applicants," she chirps. "I feel we simply must nab you before you take your business to one of our competitors! The job is your's if you want it."And she's obviously dumb as a rock. How else could she believe all that barefaced ridiculous horseshit you put in your resume and told her on your last. "Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my house?" I said, taking a few cautious steps into the room. I know I should have been scared - the guy might have a gun. But I was hoping even if he was here to rob the place, he'd at least let me pee first. "Go ahead and tend your bladder. I'll wait," the man said as he turned around. Yep. It was Santa alright. He was smiling and holding a slice of steaming pizza in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. I sort of scratched my head for a. “Mike, I’m so sorry, I should have asked. I want to ask you some questions, and I made notes on my phone so I wouldn’t forget.”I smiled as I explained, “It’s okay, Mel, it’s just ... I met up with another lady from the dating site and she spent most of our so-called date checking her phone for messages from other people, which kinda showed me where I stood on her list of priorities. It was rude and disrespectful, and told me a whole lot about why she was still single.”She put her hand over her. "Oh am I," I said, "I'm very flattered." You're also the worst and the prettiest and the ugliest and the tallest and the shortest." Am I also first and last and only?" Yes." Oh, dear." And I hugged him closer.Your first, I thought. I'm going to have to take extra special care of you. I can feel your fingertips touching my nipple, is this the first time you've done that? Testing its fleshiness, running one finger over the flat top, around the base, watching it spring back as your finger passes.
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