Distinti saluti, CindyI don't know why I am doing this extra stuff, learning Italian and shopping for a new look. I know that I made such a bad first ...mpression on Carlo that the damage is probably irreparable, but for the sake of Candy and this weird triangle relationship we'll have at each Lane wedding and eventually funerals, I want to patch things up.I arrive, check in, shower, shave and otherwise prepare myself just as if I'm going cock hunting, except for some very crucial differences. I. The situation had demanded more attention to sleep instead of food.I stopped at a small food market and purchased two bottles of my favorite Chianti knowing the likelihood of find it in any restaurant was slim to none. Besides, most places didn't care if you brought your own poison providing you paid the glass fee to dispense it. I found it most reassuring to have my own booze instead of chancing some inferior blend in an already opened bottle.I had the Calamari and pasta with rolls of the. Whenshe came back she grabbed a condom and said that one ofher girlfriends had talked about putting a condom on herboyfriend with her mouth. She asked me if she couldpractice doing that with me. I told her to go ahead andto take it slow so that she could learn what needed tobe done.Well, she got it on after a couple of false starts andhaving to come up for air a couple times. When it was onI told her that since I was ready we would have to useit. She asked if she could get on top again this. I saw the rise and fall of her chest, I'm sure I was doing much the same though I couldn't tell. My mind was a mix of emotions as it frequently was. Sadness overwhelmed me partly because of the alcohol, but beneath that I was happy if only for a moment. There were doubts too. Does she really want me? How could she love me? Do I deserve to be happy? What's gonna happen when she's full term? I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind and focused on the here and now. I had a woman beside me.
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