Seriously, why don’t they just have a fucking Department of Literature? Nobody wants to major in Grammar and the Song of Roland. Besides, all they t...lk about is post-post-feminist politics and the Third World anyway. It’s all Social Science for Retards. **** I look at myself in the mirror. Do I like what I see? Oddly, yes. It’s sickening to admit, but sometimes I’m a bit entranced with myself. It’s ridiculous, no one else is. I’m a solipsist, yes. But why not? Is anyone else falling over their. I got the biggest shock of my life -Billy was the most gorgeous geek ever -6ft 4,mousey brown hair, eyes the colour of sapphires and 285lbs of solid muscles. I showed Billy where the computer was and went to make a strong coffee (I needed it). I couldn’t believe my eyes Billy had stripped to a singlet (a very snug fitting singlet), he had the most impressive set of biceps ever. I stood there imagining how those amazing arms would feel wrapped around my body. Today was definitely turning out. ‘You look unhappy’, he told me. ‘Sometimes I feel life is passing me by’ I replied. ‘You look like you just need a really good long fuck’, he said, shocking me. I blushed, and mumbled ‘I do have a boyfriend…’‘Perhaps your boyfriend just needs a few tips to liven things up’ he said. ‘You should start by watching some porn films together. Actually I sell porn DVDs, amongst other things, why don’t we choose some that might turn him on?’I gulped down my wine as he looked through a massive pile of. Did Buck tell you about our little village?’ ‘He just said the residents are great, the boutiques are a treasure trove for a woman, and that you make a wonderful Long Island iced tea.’ She smiled at Buck and winked at him with her right eye so Kali couldn’t see it, and then asked, ‘What’s your pleasure?’ ‘Long warm summer nights, Ethel,’ Buck answered. They shared a knowing looks and then he said, ‘I remember a very tasty vodka and tonic the last time I was here.’ ‘Make mine a gin and tonic.’.
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