You are willing me to die but taunt me by keeping my body alive. This IS me. Stop! Harder to concentrate. I can’t think. Bitch. Helpless and angry,...a pitiful combination. And you just walk away. 27 June I gaze down the garden path and across to the trees beyond the pond. Sunlight and birdsong. I try to feel something. Anything. There’s no rage left, no anger. But there is nothing to take its place either. I try to hold that thought but I can’t. I know I need you to know that, but helpless, I. ”“If you push too hard, you’ll create some setbacks,” she told me, not unkindly.I nodded. “I kind of need this,” I told her. “The thing on April 2nd is a goal that keeps me going. Being fit by then is not unreasonable. It’s four months from the time I started working on the arm.”She nodded and changed the subject after that. “How are you feeling about the scarring issue?” she asked.I shrugged a little. “It still bothers me a lot,” I admitted. “Oddly, the shoulder and the back don’t horrify me. I took the bag from her and we went into the hotel. She had come straight from her office hence she apologized for coming without refreshing. That’s ok it’s better when I see you like this why? You are looking more beautiful than the other day you know. A girl’s real beauty can be seen on only 2 occasions which is?She asked me with a slight grin in her face 1 right after she comes out of the bathroom after taking a bath and 2 on the bed, right when she wakes up and you know much about girls. – Komm, wichs Dich mal ein bißchen, ich will sehen wie Du es Dir machst.“Ich fing an, mein schon halbsteifes Glied zu wichsen, und wurde im Handumdrehen hart und steif. „Sehr schön machst Du das, steif sieht er ja noch geiler aus. So schön gebogen, und die Adern sind schön sichtbar. Hmmm, Du gefällst mir. – Du hast Deine Hoden rasiert, oder?“„Ja, die Schamhaare sind auch etwas gestutzt.“ Ich erklärte ihm, wie ich dazu kam, und dass ich mich regelmäßig unter der Dusche zum Abspritzen.
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