?I hesitated. I tried to decide if I really wanted it to go that far. ThenI caught sight of myself in her mirror. I looked good, except my head.Why no... let her do this tonight. Might as well see what she can do. ?OK.?Her face broke out in a smile. ?Here, sit down.?Over the next hour she worked on me. She started with some kind of gel inmy hair and brushed and combed until satisfied. Then she went over myface, powder, rouge, eye makeup, lipstick. I sat patiently as I listenedto her talk to me. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to dance a waltzwearing those heels, but fact is that Donald is a terribly good dancer.Under his lead I danced the waltz just like if I was a professional. Ifelt relieved for that. It was nice not being the one leading for achange. At that time it was not clear to me how this realization would beimportant to me in the future. I danced also with "my" father, with myfather-in-law and with the bestman and then I was allowed to rest. Therhythmic movements, the music. I quickly picked up theother purses and followed the women out of the caf? onto the sidewalk.The rest of the night went fairly well, I walked behind them on thesidewalk, following with two handbags over my left shoulder, the strapfrom a light purple cross body on my right and a large silver clutchunder my right arm. When we arrived at the coffee shop Penny offeredto buy for everyone. I stood beside her holding her wallet whileeveryone ordered their coffee's, lattes and cappuccinos. After. " I knew I was a fat slob. I had felt myself deteriorating for years. I was accustomed to the level of exhaustion from such simple tasks; but I was certainly not ready to feel a sudden release from the confines of my straining pants, followed a split-second later by the sound of the metal snap striking the wall.I sat there, pants open at the top, loose tufts of polyester showing where the snap had once been sewn securely in place, and I wept. I was overcome by sorrow (not to say self-pity) at.
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