I never really thought anything of it really, nor was I paying much attention when she went to retrieve her backpack to bring along with her, and it w...uldn't be until we got there and Karen pulled out the small blanket she had crammed into it did I realize her intentions.Karen had led me away from the usual biking trails I followed and down along the woods to Mr. Brown's farm, before pedaling out into one of his unploughed wheat fields where the grass was tall. There we most certainly would be. .not such a good idea lol I realize these days I do not want to be a woman just like women's panties and certain clothes and wigs.this also brings up another issue that was unresolved form my early twenties and that was my attraction to transsexuals. instead of exploring why I have felt these thoughts feelings I harbored them. I hid my feelings not only from my family but also my friends. I became the closet cross dresser who was also attracted to transsexuals keeping it under lock and key in. . "I could be", I said as you begin to embarrassingly clean the glasses from the bar. Our eyes meet in a place of no distraction of light, but clarity. As the words escape my mouth, I slowly dominate my stare to let you know my jokes were up! You smile bashfully as we think our next choice of words carefully. "Well, maybe I should prepare better". As we disappointingly retire to our opposed directions, the thoughts mingle with the vision in my head.. As you vanish up the staircase, your words,. Her eyes flick to the booth where she was sitting, back to you. She curls her fingers through the coffee cups handle. Turns slightly to grasp the shot glass between the fingers of her other hand. She’s moving carefully, eyes trained on her hands even though she knows it’s not necessary. She did this for nearly a decade after all.She bites a lip, doesn’t quite look at you, and asks, “Would you like to join me?” She’s aiming for casual with her tone. But she wonders if you can hear how not casual.
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