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Apparently half the audience had assumed he was just pretending and it wasn’t until all the staff rushed onto stage and the safety curtain came down...that they realised that maybe he had been taken ill. He died almost as soon as they got him to hospital; he was only 62.Yes, there were a few less than tasteful jokes about the dangers of venturing into Sunderland, but most people were saddened. I’d grown up seeing Sid James on the telly fairly often, and one of my favourite bits of “Carry on up. " she taunted me."You don't understand do you?" I asked, "Daddy has no idea you are here." Then I shall phone him!" she said defiantly, but I stepped forward and grasped her wrist as she took out her phone, her other hand flashed around striking my cheek and raking three red gouge with her long fingernails across my cheek."Oh no not this time." I insisted, "No you need a lesson, far away from daddy, a serious lesson."She tried to pull away, I released her hand but grabbed the neck of her thin. Blackie just ran a bit to the side of the interloper and moved his head from right to left. The brown bull screamed — I don' know another word — and I could see a three-foot slash along his side. There was an inch or two of blood on the tip of Blackie's right horn. Blackie planted his left front foot, wheeled and drove his head straight into his opponent's ribcage. I could hear the ribs crack and air whistle from a punctured lung. The stranger sank to his front knees and shook his head. There. “Well, it’s a better return than leaving the money in the bank,” he said.“How much do we make there?” I asked.“About one per cent,” he replied, “admittedly, that’s still earning you more than the average weekly wage, but it’s not very good. I think we should seriously consider some of the ideas that Andy’s financial adviser came up with.”“Which ones?” I asked.“Well he advised putting about a quarter into bonds that pay a guaranteed income, then another quarter into unit trusts, invest about.
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