No, not of our lives, but of our youth. To which we forget. And yet, only remember as the best. To the very contradictory paradox of death. And when w... forget ourselves, and meld to another. The precise moment of contact and bond, to where we realize the other is there. Not because we have to be, but by the very essence of free will. Such a thing that can only flow and survive in such an environment. Like the energy in every corner of the universe. Neither created nor destroyed. Things will sag. I stayed awake long enough this time to look around where I was seated. Across the aisle I spotted a cute guy. He was skinny with pretty white skin and curly brown hair. He was wearing a UCLA sweatshirt. Before I dosed off I smiled at him, and I think I might have blown him a kiss. My mind was so fucked up, who knows. The chairs were all in a circle. It was some kind of 12 step meeting for sex addicts. One by one the people shared their story. This one gal got up. Her name was Ginger I think.. "Hardly," Kristi remarks with surprise, in response to my query about myfuture employment. "I just wanted to see if you were okay. A debrief isalways very helpful when a patient dies."It feels exactly like what I need. I knew the value of such things whenI was Alex Turner."I still feel awful," I reveal. "Maybe I wasn't forceful enough ordidn't do enough." Alex; to be honest; I think it was his time. That's what happens in anemergency department. People die. We save the ones we can and. I sighed, feeling alittle hurt. Bethany had been resentful towards me over something forseveral weeks now, but I had no idea what and she wouldn't tell me. I'ddone my best in the five years since her mother had died, but being asingle father was hard. Looking at Bethany now - blonde, pretty, readyto take on the world - I wondered what had happened to the little girlwho used to love it when I bounced her on my knee."Don't stay up too late," I said, heading out, an order that was metwith folded.
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