And that's what lead me to camgirl sites. There, I could look at girls my age and talk to them without them having to see me, which eased a lot of my ...ervousness. It got to be addictive. It wasn't just what you could see...but how hard she was trying, how she focused just on me, even if only for a moment. Sure, it was an act, but it felt more like a game. Her trying to get me to pay her to see what she came on that site to show, and me trying to see how much I could get her to do without. Intimidated, and scared beyond measure. What if she says ‘no’?"So, are you doing anything interesting over the weekend?" Amber asked, hesitantly."Not really," I said, only aware that I sounded like a pathetic loser after I’d already spoken the words. Missing you. Just ask her out, you stupid lump!"I'm going into town, if you're interested." Amber did that thing with the downcast eyes which I knew was when the words themselves hid, rather than revealed, the true meaning of what a woman was. I needed to be alone, to sit and wait to see if someone, anyone will arrive and do it. I picked a spot close to the bushes and up and away from the walkway, so people walking would be at a distance, and I could be left alone to enjoy, the the scene over by the bushes, hidden from intruders and free to act. I removed my jacket with its badge amblazoned, advertizing my school, the elite all girls school for young ladies. Lying back on the cool grass I ignored the possibility of the green stain. ” I said, Yea, whatever.” I started to walk away, but mom followed me, put her hand on my shoulder, spun me around again and started in on me again. I was really getting pissed at this point. Mom laughed and said, “You’re just afraid to do anything because you know I’m right.” I told her that I wasn't afraid, it was just that she was my mom and I wouldn't do anything mean to her like that. That’s when she stepped up and she slapped me across the face. “You should act like a man and do.
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