He looked at me with a similar look and we closed our doors.That night I tossed and turned, wondering what to do. I mean, it seemedso crazy to become ... 'sissy', to become a pleasure toy for men. I mean,I WAS NOT GAY. I never had crushes on boys back in high school, I neverwanted to do any of that. I couldn't imagine doing anything like thatwith another man. 'Another man'. Look at me, all femmed up and thinkinga men would see me as an equal. I mean, sure, I definitely had touched afellow. It was estimated to be a 7.7 on the seismic scale. Later it was downgraded to a 7.5. There was vast damage as oil wells swayed for a moment then collapsed ripping drills out of the ground. Hundreds of thousands of barrels were lost as the crude shot up and out drenching the area with black rain.Little Fox and General Emerson studied the aftermath of the quake. The general was pointing out the very spot where the laser had hit the fault and the widespread damage had occurred. The Jungle some. "You know we've talked about this and no one else will ever know. But you and I will know. I want that to be enough," she said."It will have to be, won't it?" he smiled ruefully."Dan, I wish I weren't..." she began, feeling the need to pour out her heart to him, but he put his fingers to her mouth, silencing her."I know, Marsha. I know because I feel it too."Their eyes plumbed the depths of the other, then reluctantly he pulled back."You'd better go."She started to protest but understanding she. I’ll call you later, all right?”“Are you OK?” she asked me, a touch of sarcasm in her voice.“Sure - just need to think.”We hung up. And I had to think. Oh, boy do I have to think.And so I thought. I told my wife I was just distracted by something at work. I went out on a drive. I sat in an empty parking lot, looking up at the stars, wanting to beg God to make it not true. I didn’t dare. I knew it was all of my own making, and I didn’t deserve to be rescued from my fate.I went home and played.
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