‘I know you love me, and want to please me, and doing what I want excites you, right?’ ‘Oh, yes,’ I panted, melting in her regard. ‘Now I un...erstand that you have minor attachments to other people, and occasionally you might want to do things for them on your own initiative. Things that might be different than what I would want.’ I nodded, relieved she was being so understanding. ‘Well, from now on, Linnea, if you do something — or even think about doing something — that you think might. Youcan feel it, Beth. You can feel yourself letting gomore and more, sinking deeper and deeper into totalrelaxation.” “Do you feel this is happening right now, Beth?” There was a silence, the ringing in my ears seeming todrown out all other sounds but Gloria’s soft voice.This was remarkable. I was standing there, staring ather, and yet I felt so comfortable, so calm. Her eyesfloated in front of me, pulling me down into them.Deeper and deeper. I wanted so much to let it. I tried to give life to everything in my mind, making the inanimate animate, making things alive because I honestly didn’t have the courage to talk to people. I made friends with nicotine and my bones, knowing that right now they were the only things supporting me.“I didn’t know you were a smoker.”My eyes snapped open. It was Gabe, hands in his pockets, standing just a few feet away. I thought about the scars on his palms, healed but damaged, like they were something strangely beautiful that. " But I need to think," she said evasively."Come to bed Clarissa," I said, "Please." Clarissa, not Lola?" she asked."You choose," I suggested, " Then we will talk," she said, "And yes I choose silks and satins and soft yet hard intrusions that make my whole being cry out with delight," she said as she came to the bed, "It is not I John, Clarissa and Lola are one and the same, it is you, from where did your passion come, you have barely touched me before, preferring the sodomy of boys hitherto.
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