Yesterday evening, at Cappy's Liquors at San Leandro and Fifty-First Avenue down in Oakland's Elmhurst District, there was an unusual holdup attempt. ...hannel 10 obtained a copy of the surveillance video in the store ... Though the quality of the video is not good, you can clearly see in the video the armed robbery attempt. Now watch as the man with the gun backs towards the door ... what appears to be a college-age female knocks the would-be robber out cold. Now watch what happens to the other. Having heard too many horror stories about toys turning on in luggage, she’d taken the batteries out before packing them. Worse still, after tearing apart her bags, she discovered that she hadn’t packed the batteries at all. Things only went downhill from there. No matter where she looked, she couldn’t find the double-a batteries that her vibes required. She went into four places before finally locating some. She bought three packages, to make sure that she didn’t have to do this again. Her. .. uh...” I stepped backwards and sat myself down before the throne, not wanting to disturb my two Lunars. This ended up feeling a lot more natural for me: Half naked, an eastern peasant sitting on the steps leading to a throne. It was less surreal than actually sitting on a throne my own skinny self. “Chirp, what’s the word for being as good as the others?”Chirp sat down beside me, leaning up against my side. “On par?”“That was it!” I said, nodding to Ejana.She shook her head. “They’d be pure. Then, when Steve agreed to go to a turnabout dance with Tracey Jones, a plain, slightly pudgy girl instead of with Michelle who was smoking hot, it really bugged Michelle. She offered Steve anything and everything if he’d dump Tracey, including her virginity.”“Wait! She’d give up her virginity to hurt this other girl?”“Yes,” Kara said. “But as it turns out, Steve reports that Tracey was one of the best lays he ever had!”“Kara!” I huffed.“Oh stop, Snuggle Bear. Tracey wouldn’t object to me.
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