Our faces are but inches apart as she stares into my eyes and raises one hand against the wall.A sound. A zephyr against my privates. She watches me...intently. A moist poke against my bottom. OMG. Another "unhhh" from me, this time it was no purr. Still I try to hold her gaze. Invasion. I wiggle and try to relax against the inevitable. When fully penetrated, I sigh out one more low-toned "unhhh."In response, she gives me her best Grinch grin and must have pressed something else up on. Hedonism is all I appear to have left. Or is that just an excuse for my immoral behaviour? Do I believe my own lies in order to really deceive others more skilfully? I’m having a mid-life crisis. Fack. My whole life has been a facking crisis: c***dhood anxiety giving way to teenage angst. I pick up a copy of The Daily Sport which a passenger has given me from the day before. I read the ‘massage’ ads. One stands out: Blonde 21 year old with tanned 36-24-36 figure, Bournemouth. I ring the number.. You'd give them all the time in the world, all the love in the world. You still do this relentlessly even though they wont give you five minutes when you need that five minutes.Being in love with someone who doesn't love you back is a burning red pain. It's a pain like nothing else because no matter what you do, no matter what medicine or treatment you give to that pain it's still there. It's there when you see his face, hear his voice, remember his touch. It's always there.When you're in love. There was nothing I could see saying that would mollify my daughter, so I just answered honestly. “She came to spend the night here and needed a shower this morning,” I replied, knowing that wasn’t going to cut it, but what the hell else was there to say? She sure as hell didn’t need to know about what happened last night.My daughter stood there staring holes in me when Sandy came back out from my room dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweat shirt, that just happened to be one of mine, oh.
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