The whole damn thing.Pigtails, ribbons, freckles, dress, and boots.The only difference from the night before was that she didn’t have her shepherd�...s crook with her. I guess it would have been too hard to carry it to school drop-off without everyone seeing it and wondering what was going on.I stood at the bottom of the stairs, unable to move. She came down to the bottom step, then leaned over to me and whispered, “You said I deserved a treat for finding my sheep. So can I have my treat now?”And. I'd left out the bedding and my clothes for the next day, along with a laundry bag for what I was wearing. I also left out a wool watch cap to wear when the Geek or whoever he sent, came by in the morning. I didn't want my hair seen by anyone yet.I turned everything off and locked everything up, then went to bed. I didn't sleep well. The bed felt empty, and I hated being alone. I missed her so much.I was up early, and since I'd packed a lot of my kitchen supplies, I got dressed and went out for. I went ballistic on that big thing. I think I wanted to turn the tables on him, to take control. All summer long he'd been me tossing around my basement like a rag doll, making me moan at his pleasure. Now I wanted to make him moan for a change. Sure, I was on my knees but it would've been nice, just for a moment, to control him, to make him mine. Of course it did not happen. I would never control Little Billy. I pushed my lips into his little patch of peach-fuzz. When I kissed him there it. " I lay perfectly still until the sound of my mums car fades away. Then I throw back the covers and run down the stairs to the front door. The deadbolt slams shut and I literally skip back up to my room. Once I'm there I peel off the false trappings of masculinity. I stand naked in front of a mirror. I wouldn't say I was fit. But I wasn't really fat either. The best descriptor would be slim. I must stand there for about half an hour, depression rising. "This isn't me. It just isn't."My eyes.
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