Grabbing my purse, I headed for the door, which, thank God, was just a few paces from the bar. I kept my head down so that no one else would see my te...rs and ask me any questions. I cried all the way home. I could barely see the road though my tears. I hated myself; I hated my big ass; and I hated men.Steve tried to apologize the next day, but I told him to fuck off. I ran into John on the elevator later that afternoon, and with his head bowed he also tried to apologize. I told him to fuck off. I beat the ground with the baseball bat, keep my eye on the ball and crack it over the fence, just to hear that sound. I still live behind home plate in that squatting position. You can always distinguish the poor kids from the middle kids in Catholic grammar schools. The have-nots wear stiff socks that are hand washed every single night in the sink and dried on the oven doors in the morning, the socks lose their elasticity from the washing and linger around the ankles all stretched out leaving. You were soooooo ‘giving’ – do you know how rare that is with a guy these days?”I suggested it was more to do with the age group of guys she went out with – they were all around her age, not mine (I was about 23-25 years older than her at the time) and went onto explain that older guys don’t have anything to prove in bed, and are more thoughtful about making things pleasurable for their partner rather than just getting their own rocks off. Melissa saw immediately where I was coming from.“Is. Akka amma arugil padukaamal en arugil paduthu uranga aarambithal, appozhuthu thaan paarthen aval mulaiyai. Akka paduthu urangum pozhuthu mulai miga perithaaga pazhuthu irunthathu, athai paarthathum en sunni viraika aarambithathu. Naan eppozhuthum iravu thinamum kai adipen, indru athe nerathil en sunni viraika aarambithathu.Amma uranginaargal naan akkavai paarthen avalum uranginaal, avalin mulai en kaama unarvugalai athigarithathu.Aval sexyaaga paduthu irunthaal, ena seivathu endru theriyaamal.
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